News: "Last year's memes are still somehow relevant," experts lament.
News: "At this point, watermelons are present in the entire economy," claims an economist. "If we start eating anything else, we'll all be dead."
News: Watermelons are now illegal in some backward country nobody cares about. Political tensions rise; hopefully there will be war soon.
News: A minor incident involving watermelons turns an entire city into ashes; neighboring cities are asked to assist in reconstruction.
News: "Admittedly, all this watermelon stuff is a bit scary," says a confused idiot.
News: Watermelons are gradually making their way as competitors to traditional currency!
News: Follow the heartwarming story of a local watermelon farmer who went from riches to rags and decided to leave it all behind!
News: The watermelon emoji is the most popular among teenagers, far ahead of the "thumbs up" and the "suspicious-looking dark moon," according to a study.
News: The viral video "Too Many Melons" could be "a somber commentary on the imminent crisis our world is about to face," claims a famous economist.
News: million-to-one event sees gritty movie reboot turning out better than the original! "We have no idea how this happened", say movie execs.
News: strange statistical anomalies continue as weather forecast proves accurate an unprecedented 3 days in a row!
News: neighboring nation somehow elects president with sensible policies in freak accident of random chance!
News: all scratching tickets printed as winners, prompting national economy to crash and, against all odds, recover overnight.
News: local casino ruined as all gamblers somehow hit a week-long winning streak! "We might still be okay", says owner before being hit by lightning 47 times.
News: local man "done with SandiaExe", finds the constant self-references "grating and on-the-nose".
News: local man sails around the world to find himself - right where he left it.
News: local guru claims "there's a little bit of ourselves in everyone", under investigation for alleged cannibalism.
News: news writer finds herself daydreaming about new career. Or at least a raise.
News: polls find idea of melons made of melons "acceptable" - "at least we finally know what's in them", says interviewed citizen.
News: "Last year's memes are still somehow relevant," experts lament.
News: "At this point, watermelons are present in the entire economy," claims an economist. "If we start eating anything else, we'll all be dead."
News: Watermelons are now illegal in some backward country nobody cares about. Political tensions rise; hopefully there will be war soon.
News: A minor incident involving watermelons turns an entire city into ashes; neighboring cities are asked to assist in reconstruction.
News: "Admittedly, all this watermelon stuff is a bit scary," says a confused idiot.
News: Watermelons are gradually making their way as competitors to traditional currency!
News: Follow the heartwarming story of a local watermelon farmer who went from riches to rags and decided to leave it all behind!
News: The watermelon emoji is the most popular among teenagers, far ahead of the "thumbs up" and the "suspicious-looking dark moon," according to a study.
News: The viral video "Too Many Melons" could be "a somber commentary on the imminent crisis our world is about to face," claims a famous economist.
News: million-to-one event sees gritty movie reboot turning out better than the original! "We have no idea how this happened", say movie execs.
News: strange statistical anomalies continue as weather forecast proves accurate an unprecedented 3 days in a row!
News: neighboring nation somehow elects president with sensible policies in freak accident of random chance!
News: all scratching tickets printed as winners, prompting national economy to crash and, against all odds, recover overnight.
News: local casino ruined as all gamblers somehow hit a week-long winning streak! "We might still be okay", says owner before being hit by lightning 47 times.
News: local man "done with SandiaExe", finds the constant self-references "grating and on-the-nose".
News: local man sails around the world to find himself - right where he left it.
News: local guru claims "there's a little bit of ourselves in everyone", under investigation for alleged cannibalism.
News: news writer finds herself daydreaming about new career. Or at least a raise.
News: polls find idea of melons made of melons "acceptable" - "at least we finally know what's in them", says interviewed citizen.